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Sunday, August 3, 2008

Motherhood and Writing: A Time to Relax, Refocus and Re-Energize

I'm back on track after a week-long respite to the Cape.  Okay, fine.  I'm trying to get back into the swing of things.  But technically, I've been back from vacation for half a day and there is a large pile of laundry to be conquered before I can reward myself with writing.  

Isn't this picture lovely?  This incredible view was the perfect backdrop as my reading research kept me in a constant fog-like state.  Not because of boredom, mind you, but because I needed the calm of the ocean to keep my mind from running off with all the new details I've discovered for my manuscript.  

I have to admit, I didn't write a word while on vacation.  Nor did I want to.  I really needed a chance to relax, refocus and re-energize.  The summer months have been busier since the children are on vacation, and while I love having my children around, I've found myself resentful at times since my writing has suffered.

Even though I know I shouldn't make that as an excuse... after all...I keep thinking, if I really wanted to write, I'd make time to do it.  And for the most part, I do.  I write late at night when the kiddies are fast asleep.  But sometimes, I'd like to be able to write, well...whenever I felt like it.  

And I know I sound selfish.  Believe me, I think I'm the luckiest person that I can stay at home with the children--I wouldn't change that for the world.  I don't need the designer clothes, the fancy cars, the expensive wines and dinners.  Yeah, it would be nice every once-in-a-while, but not something I have to have.  However, the need to exert my independence, my identity--so I'm not only a mother, a wife, a nurturer--is so strong, I need to get away from it all, so I can concentrate on my dreams.  Don't you sometimes feel it?  Or am I the only one?  

This past week was just what I needed, food for my soul.  My husband took the kids to the beach and made sure I had plenty of alone time so I could relax and focus on my work.  Thank you so much, Sweetie.  Now I'm all re-energized, I can't wait to start writing.  

But first, there's that laundry pile....

12 comments:

Christine M said...

I'm glad you found your vacation refreshing and a recharge for your soul. Everyone needs that now and then.

m. thompson said...

I don't think you're alone in wanting time to work on your dreams. It sounds like you had the recharge you needed on your vacation. All the best to your writing.

One of these days, if I ever get time, I'm going to start up a blog.

PJ Hoover said...

I've heard you can't take care of other people until you take care of yourself first. Enter the airplane speech - please put on your own mask before assisting others.
Our recharge time and time to do things we love is critical to being better mothers.
I have a camp week ahead, and let me tell you, I'm already planning every minutes of the blissful solitude around the house.

Nowheymama said...

We are going to NH next week. This makes me look forward to vacation even more!

Alkelda the Gleeful said...

I feel pretty lucky in that I've had the space to pursue my dreams with my husband's support (financially and emotionally), even while I'm raising my one child. My internal pressure stems from what I perceive to be external pressure to find gainful employment, i.e. something that brings in a steady paycheck! It may be mostly in my mind (mostly, I say), but it doesn't abate for all that.

I'm so glad you got to take a break.

daphne grab said...

my kids started summer break two weeks ago (from morning pre school) and i've barely thought about my wip, let alone worked on it. i love the kid time but do feel slightly anxious about getting nothing done. but we are off to the cape on wed so i'm hoping to have an experience similar to yours!

Kelly said...

Yay for a great vacation! Mine has been similar to yours, HWM...only 3 weeks until school starts :)

Jenny said...

I've felt this exact way and am so happy that you've put it into words... the feeling of being grateful for everything you have but still wanting something more just for yourself...

Good luck with the laundry pile!

beth said...

I don't have kids, yet. I plan on starting next year or the year after. One reason my husband and I are waiting is because we both know what an investment in time, energy, emotion, etc., having kids must be. So we're waiting to give ourselves a bit of a chance to continue living out our dreams before our priorities change.

katied said...

Vivian-
You're not the only one... I feel your words loud and clear. I need my time to write, reflect and express myself. Balancing the other (wonderful) parts of life with what I what I want seems to just be something I juggle constantly. Glad you are re-energized.

The Cole Mine said...

Oh I'm so glad you were able to enjoy a beautiful place and get some "you" time. I TOTALLY hear what you are saying - so much so that it feels like we may have come from the same motherhood mold! Good luck with your writing. :)

Jules at 7-Imp said...

Of course we need those breaks. No, it's not just you! And it's hard if you went from full-time work (not having to do with kids) to suddenly being with them every day. I think that's why I started blogging.

I'm so glad you got a rejuvenating break!